Every now and then I really ponder what I do for a living. I study and watch the parts of my mind that are activated when I talk to the animals. I listen to my body. I question how can I be my very best. I wonder how and why I have been given such an amazing gift and how can I help the masses.
The other day, I was tested. I was booked for a couple of hours by a woman who wanted to talk to her deceased horse. This horse was very special to me. I was present with the horse during her euthanasia and was astonished by her bravery and brilliance. I looked forward to speaking with her again. The night before our meeting I received an email from the horses person asking for me to talk the horse and ask the horse to call in the womans human deceased friend. “Whoa” I thought, “This is not what I do.”
When one is psychic or open to the realm of spirits there are many doorways that one can open or close. As I child and teenager I was fascinated with spirits. I played with the Ouija Board, read Steven King, Edgar Allen Poe, and Aldous Huxley obsessively. I watched the movies like the Omen, Rosemary Baby, among others over and over again. I visited cemetaries and knew instantly when older kids tried to trick me by pushing the Ouija Board and spelling out false statements from made up spirits. I dabbled and as I got older and as I began to study my gifts I realized that talking to the deceased human realm was not my passion. That darkness seemed to linger too close to the entrance of my doorways. I had visions and nightmares, visits from the unsettled and it took years for me to build up a boundary to tell them to go away. I wanted nothing to do with them. I made it clear that they needed to find another for them to talk, to help them. And thankfully I became closed off to the human spirits. I no longer felt them when they were around. I didn’t see them, hear them or even notice that they were there.
Often in conversations with the animals (both living and passed) they have messages from people crossed over for people on earth and I don’t mind having an animal being a medium between me and them (the human spirits). Somehow it is a compromise. A message is given but I did not have to talk to them directly. It feels ok to me.
So the other day, I am talking to the deceased horse and then I feel the others. The people on the other side, One, two, three, four, five. They are around. I see them in my mind, what they look like. I see them lined up. The horse tells me not to worry. She will be the translator. She will be the bridge. I wonder how I got myself into this. Should I stop it now? They come forth one by one to answer the questions of my client. I feel them as a warm breeze on the left side of my body and I noticed it is NOT the animals voice I hear. It is the human spirits voice in my mind.
When I hear the animals it is a firm voice in my head. Similar to thinking a thought that I am positive and clear about. The people sounded more distant. Not quieter nor fuzzier just farther away. Like they we talking to me from a room down a hallway. When I would doubt myself and want to stop the session my body would get a tingling sensation from my head to my toes. I knew I had to continue. It didn’t feel dark though some of the conversation revealed dark things. I was not afraid.
At one point I felt I was being watched. I scanned the environment for a human spy. Then I noticed a robin (a bird) 20 feet away watching me intently. “I see you.” I said to him. “There is a lot going on around you.” He replied before he flew off to watch me from an oak branch. I took a breath and Mr. Squirrelly appeared on a distant tree. He chattered to me. “I see you.” He teased. “I am not liking what you have in the feeder. Someone else is feeding me.” I felt cheated on and I knew instantly the neighbor squirrel stealer.
The session continued. One spirit after the other. Giving guidance. Giving faith. Time warped as it does when I am doing a session. “I got to go.” As I noticed the time. “I’m late.”
I was thrown off at least 10 min to the next 6 clients. I hate being late.
Each client was the opposite of the one before. One was scattered, anxious and hating their dog, the next calm, patient and would do anything for their cat, a skeptic, a believer, an animal that needs to cross over. The day flew by and I amazed myself at my ability to leave the last client at the door and give myself fully to the client of the hour. Each hour went by as if it was five minutes. I breathed and was thankful for each clients bathroom, warm water, soap and a mirror. Giving me the opportunity to quickly change gears.
The next day I woke up with headache and it lasted for two days until I did something I never do. I pop 4 Advil. I wondered, “Did I get a headache from using a different part of my brain, talking to human spirits, opening an unfamiliar door. Did I close it all the way?”
Or did I get a headache from my new down comforter. I tried to buy a humane alternative. But they were back ordered till after Christmas. What gives down feathers anyway? Ducks, Geese? Do their spirits mind that I sleep under their feathers? I am so grateful, so warm in my drafty house
What doors will open next?
I found my self writing John Edwards (whom I do not know personally). Longing for a friend, rooted in integrity, who deals with the same issues that I do. How many other doors are there? Do I want to know? Can I open and close them at will?
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