On the car ride home, Storm my Aussie sat in the front seat and Maia’s dead body laid peacefully in the back seat. “What did you think?” I asked Stormy. He replied, “I think it was more scary for me than it was for Maia.”
“Did you feel her spirit leave her body?” I asked.
Storm replied, “Mom, I thought ‘what is this beautiful feeling?’ and then I realized it feels like Maia.” Then he asked, “Mom will anything else use her body? Will another spirit take it over?”
I explained to him that her body was old and dying and that is why her spirit had to leave.
Later on that night he told me that he had seen “a gray foggy staticy entity try to enter into Maia’s body. It scared me. Maia’s spirit growled at it and then I zapped it with my brain until it went away.”
Before we buried Maia I took her body home so that Joey, Makia, Serafina (the cats) and Bean the bunny could all get into the backseat of the car and see her body without her spirit. This, I feel, is very important for the other animals in the family to see. They all remarked that “Maia looks like she is sleeping?” Serafina had told me earlier in the day that she did not want to see Maia’s dead body because, “One time I found my kitty friend dead in the bushes and she smelled bad and her skin was mostly gone. It was terrifying.” I made Serafina see Maia’s body so she would know that is not how you look right after you die. Serafina says now,“I feel good that I saw Maia’s body at rest because now I know that you don’t always have to die with out anyone loving you and taking care of you.” Now Serafina says, “Maia tells me she is wonderful and I should be better friend with everyone because I will feel sorry I wasn’t after I die. I miss her so much. She had the best energy. She taught me it is important to watch the rhythms of nature. She said that if I start to recognize natures patterns I will be able to know when it is the best time to catch a bird.” I have to remind her we live in a no kill zone.
Bean the bunny remarked, “I was wondering why you took me out to the car and then I saw Maia and she looked like she is sleeping and now I miss her staring at me when she is lying in our room. Maia was my giant dog friend and often she would tell me that wolves usually eat bunnies but she knows better so I never need to be afraid of her. Now in spirit she tells me that I must let mom tame me more and the more I listen to my mom the more I can run around the house and sit on her lap while she is on the couch. Maia still cares about me now even though she lives far away in another part of air.”
Makia has said to me, “Maia has talked to me when she is gone and she told me that it is remarkable that we were friends considering she was such a large part wolf. She told me she is sorry for hitting me too hard with her nose or when she used to chase after me. She says I should stop fighting with Serafina because when you get to heaven all the reasons that you fight with others don’t make any sense. She also told me that I will not need to be brushed everyday to have my body feel good because there is not extra fur there or any pain.”
Joey tells me, “Mom, I want to go and join Maia. My eyes hurt from the seizures and I can not see at all anymore. My neck hurts and I can no longer play with out feeling dizzy and nauseous. Mom we are still family whether I am here or there. You can let me go now.” I tell him there is no way he is going and we are going to get him better and I can not handle another animal passing. I have seen it many times before animal after animal in the same family leaving the psychical world one after the other. He says, “Maia says that she will meet me there. Maia says that I can come back as a child if I want. She says I am very wise for a cat. She says that you will be OK. I think I am going to die in my sleep in a couple of days.”
We all know Maia was in a great amount of pain. The house is different. It is not just the empty space but it is not having something wild anymore in the house. The sun rise and sun set go by with out much of an event. Feeding time is not governed by when the pacing in the house starts. Everything is more domesticated. Maia was a very docile domesticated wolf that slept a lot in her old age, but even that energy gone is a huge change.
I can hear Maia now saying she wants to come back to me. Saying she wants to be an Aussie from Stormy’s family. She says I need someone to run with. I want her back but need some time. She says it maybe soon but it will be perfect. I fantazize of having her and Stormy as puppies. She says it maybe sooner.
Stormy says, “mom, I want Maia back too and if she comes back as a young puppy what ever it is we can handle it. I miss her but I know she is ok. I know where she is is really special. Right now I want to mourn her. But if I see her again, I will know it is her. I am sad right now. Life has already drastically changed. I thought I would enjoy my freedom and it is nice to be able to go to more places but I miss her company. I miss her insights. I miss her. That is really hard.”
I remember times when I thought that when Maia died I wont have to spend so much money on meat, that I can lift all the rugs off the floor and it will be easy to sweep that I will be able to go downtown with Stormy that I wont have to worry about her health all the time. Now all that stuff seems so silly. I wish the carpets where still there and I had Maia walking around and had to give her all her supplements. But I know she is at peace and she doesn’t want me to feel guilty of those thoughts.
Last night my friend Jim had a dream of Maia running in an open field playing with a Charub baby.
My little angel.