I had thought that since Maia was old, ready to go to heaven and that I could talk to her that this would be easy. It really is not. There is more room on the bed, which I find awkward instead of relaxing. Feeding of the animals takes half as long because I don’t have pills in cat food meatballs to feed, syringes of aloe, and long conversations of “Please. Why wont you eat? You are wasting away”. Maia was over 90% wild. She was as domesticated and calm as a high percentage wolf dog could be. Strangely our lives are drastically different. Places that are not suitable for me to relax and not pay all of my attention to my wolf dog are now opened to Stormy to accompany me. He has lingered off leash in town, at the beach, to the dog show, and at the stables as Lilly the filly gallops in the arena. I hear Maia. She has told me she is learning about wolves and about people and why she hated to go into town. She learned that calculating all the stimulation was not fun for her and it was hard for her to act appropriate/domesticated when strangers came to close. Maia was well behaved but she was trapped between two different worlds.
I feel her licking me when I cry, or poking me with her nose when I am not paying attention. I see her running and digging at the beach and pacing around me in circles in the mountains. I hear myself tell my clients about their animals, “You may think it’s your imagination but it is not. Believe it.” “Mom, I am never leaving you until I come back to you.” I hear over and over and I remember how when Lala, my dog before Maia, died I prayed for her to come back and how I looked for her. Maia informs me, “Lala never wants to come back. Mom, she is happy and busy here. She helps so many people. She is done with Earth.” I want Maia back badly, but I am way to busy for a puppy. Maia says, “When it happens the timing will be perfect.”
Storm my Aussie says, “Maia is only gone from her body. But her spirit runs beside me. Sometimes I am jealous that she is young again. I am exhausted from all the fun things I have been doing. The car is the hardest because I am alone sometimes and have no one to talk to.”
Makia my cat says, “Maia has talked to me and she has told me that it is remarkable that we were friends considering she was such a large part wolf. She told me she is sorry for hitting me too hard with her nose or when she used to chase after me. She says I should stop fighting with Serafina because when you get to heaven all the reasons that you fight with others don’t make any sense. She also told me that I will not need to be brushed everyday to have my body feel good because there is not extra fur there or any pain.”
Joey my oldest cat says, “I feel a little less safe because she was our protector. The house feels empty even though we all are still here. I have seen death before but this time I feel a little lonesome.”
Serafina my youngest cat says, “I see Maia laying in the front yard sometimes. That is something she was not allowed or ever wanted to do. When I asked her why she said she is practicing for when she comes back as a dog. She says she practicing not caring when non-threatening beings walk by.”
Bean my bunny says, “I miss that giant dog. Sometimes I see her spirit. Once she asked me why I eat hay. I didn’t know what to say. I just like it. She said she would find out for me why bunnies eat hay. I am still waiting on that answer. It is hard not knowing what to do with sadness.”
14 thoughts on “This was written a week after Maia died…”
what lovely stories makes me want to cry but i know that its calm and peaceful on the other side we call heaven.xx
Oh Laura, I am so very sorry, for your lovely family. My heart hurts for you.
This is a beautiful entry. I was moved to tears. The emptiness must be unbareable. Our hearts are with you and your fur baby family 🙂
Laura, our deepest condolences go out to you and yours, our love and thoughts are with you.
Suzanne & Milo
What can I possibly say except thank you for sharing and always understanding and communicating with the animals! I share much of what you are experiencing and feeling with the recent passing of Rica Chica.
May opportunities present them self with wild abandon!
Laura, when a best friend passes away it leaves an empty space that just can’t be filled with anything else. I’m so glad that you have the gift of communication to help you. I am praying for you, your human and animal family members that you will find peace. You helped me two months ago… I wish I could do something to help you.
My heart goes out to you in this Time Laura….I guess I didnt realize how close to the time you were with Maia, when I had contacted you about my boy Copper. I have to admit where you had described the events as they unfolded, that it brought me to tears as it took me back to what I had gone through when I had to put my baby to sleep, only a month before. I’m very glad for you and grateful, that you still can communicate with her even now, that has to be a comfort for you. Evenso, I know you must miss her terribly, and my thoughts are with you as you transition in your life and your fur family’s life without Maia being there. Thanks again for your help when I went through this, it was a comfort to me….Bless you!!
Laura, I am so sorry for your loss of dear Maia. My heart hurts for you.
Love Jenn and Daisy
We love you for all you do, Laura. I feel your pain.
Love and healing from the Dickmann family
Laura, I’m so very VERY sorry about the loss of Maia. I still grieve for my Sammy and even tho I love Buddy very much, he’s not Sammy. I’m glad that you and your family can communicate with Maia. Loss can be a true pain that one feels like an actual HURT and gnawing in your stomach, but passes with time. The love never stops. Blessings go to you all in this very difficult time.
At least Maia is out of her physical pain. Such a noble creature.. Love you very much. LaDelle
The news of Maia’s passing and this update made me weep… My heart is with you and your family. After saying goodbye to our Turbo last year and then unexpectedly losing our Huckle this summer, the sadness of loss is still very close to the surface for me. But I find peace when I read words and thoughts some of the animals have shared with you, and I find peace when I give credence to my own intuitions about Turbo and Huckle: they are well, but they are also grateful for their time with us. I thank for sharing the communications of the animals, and I thank you for reminding me to trust my own intuitions with the animals.
I’m in tears, feeling the saddness for your loss. I’m very sorry. You were a great Mommy for Maia. I’m grateful Maia was in your life. She brought you and your family many gifts. My husband, kitties, and I have also benefited from not only you, but Maia for helping you to develop your communicator skills. I thank Maia for her tremendous contribution she made to others, people and animials. My wish is for Maia to be in joy and to continue to surround you with her light and love. Thank you for sharing this story with us.
Sending you a huge hug, love light and aloha from Kauai.
Laura, I am so sorry to hear about Maia’s passing. Maia’s story is overwhelming. Thank goodness she found you and you her. She’s beautiful as are you. You are a blessing to all of us. Thank you for what you do and how you helped me when I lost my Bitte Marie. My deepest condolences to your whole family.
Sincerely, Betsy Sumner
Dearest Laura, Storm, Makia, Joey, Serafina and Bean– I haven’t been able to read Maia’s story until now. I know ho much you loved and cared for him in his last days on Earth this time ’round–I know he knew how blessed he was to be with you as his Human and fellow Animal Companions, and how blessed you all are to have been a part of Maia’s life. I send prayers; love, light and laughter to you all and to Maia as he makes the transit to Heaven–and I know he is waiting for you–to play, romp and be Blessed in the Love and Light of God’s/Goddess’s Heaven over the Rainbow Bridge that connects us all. My Heart sings to and of You and Maia!