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Category Archives: 01. Surf Majoirty of Posts 2008-2019 * Uncategorized
Living In Joy
First published in the Santa Barbara News-Press
March 20, 2019
I used to feel so much suffering of others that I would spend a full day in bed each week, literally sleeping just to feel “normal”. I once spoke to a bear actor whose kidneys were in so much pain that the next day my back went out and I could not walk for three days, I have cried countless nights over clients animals dying of cancer, bunnies getting beauty products poured in their eyes, or people I know dying.
On my days off, I stayed in the woods avoiding people so that I didn’t have to feel the pain that I saw in their eyes. To take away the terror I saw in the world, I tried: meditating, juice fasting, bananas, sugar, herbs, salt baths, smudging sage, swimming, surfing, dirt bike riding, smoking pot, riding horses, calling in angels for protection, yoga, putting gold light around me, reading, neflix binges, countless hours of audible and podcast listening. All of them sustaining me into normalcy. What has helped me the most? The woods, audible, swimming, meditating, bananas, juicing, and spiritual protection are all a part of my daily routine with some of the others mixed in.
To be a great psychic, one has to know themselves. Know your thoughts, feelings and associations so that you can decipher what’s streaming through your consciousness. One has to be committed to self-growth and climb that ladder of self-discovery. One must be able say to yourself or others, “I got it wrong. I am sorry. I messed up.” or, “It wasn’t my fault. What can I learn from this in order to help myself and others out of suffering?”
I have never had a problem with having compassion for others’ plights, but this too is a lesson. It’s important to have boundaries on how other’s actions effect you. Whether it’s a person who is not dealing with their own stuff or a dog who is acting aggressive on a walk, there should still be boundaries. Once I realized that others’ pasts are not an excuse to stay in the pattern of bad behavior, some people drifted away while others started to show up in unexpected ways. People respected me and the animals stepped into more peaceful roles. I was content, but I still wasn’t living my fullest potential.
Because my heart was a sponge to suffering, I felt guilty for being happy when so many are hurting. I could rejoice in others happiness but felt guilty for my own. I realize now, we don’t have to suffer with the world just because we are committed to helping it. Of course, there are times when the sadness overtakes us, but it doesn’t have to rule us. Why didn’t I see this before? I intellectually knew it, but did I not feel worthy of feeling my own joy?
I saw all the beauty in secret. The people that smile engaged in a passion, flowers that are blooming, the way the light shines off the ocean, the animals that are miraculously healing, the intense love I receive from people about my work, the way my spirit feels when I make love, meditate, surf and swim and how it feels to share an accomplishment or an awesome idea. Why did I hold that in secret, not letting it radiate from my heart?
I don’t have to stay in the frequency of the suffering that I deal with daily. It’s ok to experience more bliss than suffering. The pains of the world still matter if I go out into the world radiating joy.
Won’t we be more productive working through hearts continually fueled by love than hearts constantly suffering with others? Do many of us need to ask ourselves this?
Makia my late cat once said,
“Make joy a priority.”
Happy Easter! It was two years ago today that Hudson came out of the woods with his best find ever, Easter! Happy Gotcha Day, Easter! Easter says, “The night before I was found, I slept with wild bunnies. I learned that after something scary comes something great. I’m glad Hudson and I found each other. I am staying in this family forever. I am happy. But don’t leave your animals in the woods. That’s not nice….mom says an angel told my old person to do it so we would find each other. I am happier now.”
Seamora went out early today and went immediately to take a bath. She says, “It’s lovely weather to bathe. Today I am the first bird to take a bath. I wonder if they (all the wild birds) are all watching me. I think they are.”
California Super Bloom! With my stepdaughter Katherine Crook and dogs Luca, Hudson, Felix, Easter, Bigsby, and Poppy!
We had a great time filming today for the second season of Animal Zone! Here we are at Jamie’s Santa Barbara Bird Sanctuary with parrots Houdini, Doodle, Rosie, Bobby and Buda. You will have to stay tuned to hear what Buda says about being captured from the wild.
This is Lukka. She is 12 years old. Her family is expecting their first human baby. Lukka says,
“ Well I sort of feel like some people have a lot of animals and a lot of kids. Mom can handle this. I know some families that have so many animals and so many kids and I am like this is easy. It’s easy and grandma will be here to help, and everyone is stressing out over something that is going to make sense. [After telling Lukka that she is wise] Well, I’ve known you a long time and I feel like if you stress out it usually because you need a nap not because you can’t handle something. Also, can you tell my mom and dad that we could name the baby Lukka if you wanted. I don’t mind sharing my name.”
Her person writes after picking Lukka’s quote from our session: Lukka gave me a pep talk because she knows I have been stressed out about the approaching arrival of a baby! We also asked her opinion about baby names.
It’s Hudson’s 4th Birthday today! Hudson says, “This is my special day and you can enjoy it with me.”
Seamora loves to look at herself. This time she was checking herself out in my iPhone when she asked a question. Play the video to see what she asks…
Hudson says, “Friends are others you can play and explore with.”
Clyde says, “Friends are others you feel comfortable with all the time. They are play buddies. Also they never bite you when you get too close.”
“Some-days, I am amazed at the awesomeness of myself.” – Hudson
Awesome hike with Louis, Trooper and pups.
Easter was scared of the approaching rain so she jumped in the pack earlier than usual.
Hudson says, “I smelled so many wild animals out there. They love the rain. I feel magic there.”
On another note, this morning I was deep in meditation, having a mystical moment, when Hudson jumped on the bed howling (which he never does) saying,
“No, mom. That is where you go when you die. Don’t go there!”
I said “aww Hudson. I’m not dying come with me.”
He said, “Not now mom. That’s where I was when I died, before I came back to you. It’s too intense for your soul in this world.”
I told him when he was Stormy he talked about that place all the time.
He said, “Really?! It’s going to take me some time to remember. Now, get up!”
In honor of the month of love, I ask my animals,
“What is love?”
Ella my 5-year-old cat says, “Love is finding your purpose after you have been hurt. Love is comfortable bedding and playing every day. Love is the space within you and around you that creates amazing things in your life. Love is my life. I am love.”
Luca my 8-year-old poodle says, “Love is a wonderful feeling that allows you to be happy when there are difficult things happening. It’s like sunshine all the time. It is also what you have for yourself.”
Felix my 8-year-old chihuahua mix says, “Love is a mystery that flows through all things. It is what brings rescue animals to their people and wild animals to safety during a fire. It is a spirit rising within you.”
Easter my 5-year-old chihuahua says, “Love are cuddles and songs that people sing to you. Love is a good meal and being happy for no reason. Love is when you smell good and people like to kiss you.”
Seamora my 29-year-old blue and gold macaw says, “Love is when I share my food with the wild birds and let them bathe in the fountain before me. Love is definitely music and the sound of the wind through the trees. Love is awesome. If you think you don’t have it, you are wrong. It’s everywhere, you just have to notice it.”
Clyde my 4-year-old giant Flemish rabbit says, “Love is the energy that helps you manifest what you want. Love is being grateful. It is carrot tops and lots of friends. It’s when my mom laughs at me for being naughty instead of scolding me. It’s also when she takes the time to explain why she needs me to be good. Love is clear communication and patience. It is also enjoying a ripe banana.”
Jubilee my 8-year-old appaloosa warmblood horse says, “Love is having a best friend you can trust in all situations. If you get it wrong, they may get it right. Love is knowing yourself and being brave enough to trust others, even if someone has hurt you in the past. Love is jumping over tree limbs in the snow. Love is someone taking the time to scratch your butt with a rake even though their own back is sore.”
Hudson my almost 4-year-old white German Shepard says, “Love is traveling through the universe to find someone you love deeply. Love is being grateful for what is around you. Love is much more than you think it is. It’s what all things wonderful are created from. I also want to say love is chasing deer and squirrels, but my mom won’t like that one…. Mom said it may be the speed and sense of direct focus I like. Ohh… love is morning snuggles in bed. Those are the best.”
This is my late cat Makia. When she was 15 she said,
“Love is when you care about yourself first thing in the morning. If you love yourself it is easier to love others. Love is caring about your space and the foods you eat. Love is watching a butterfly fly to a flower.”
note: The first year of Makia’s life we lived in the path of the Monarchs migration. Daily we saw hundreds of butterflies. Even at 21 years old, Makia talked about attracting butterflies. She now manifests herself as a white butterfly in my front yard to let me know she is still around. When I first adopted her I was deep in the study of healing. I named her Makia after the 3rd Huna Principle of Life . “Energy Flows Where Attention Goes.”
Makia was an embodiment of that principle her whole life.
The 7 fundamental principles of Huna are:
IKE – The world is what you think it is
KALA – There are no limits, everything is possible
MAKIA – Energy flows where attention goes
MANAWA – Now is the moment of power
ALOHA – To love is to be happy with
MANA – All power comes from within
PONO – Effectiveness is the measure of truth