“Mom, I am ready to go.” Maia, my 14.5 year-old wolf dog, said to me one day. “I want to hear it three days in a row.” I replied. Day 2. “Mom, I am ready to go.” I was stalling and replied, “I want to have your picture taken. Can you wait? It will be on Day 4.” Maia agreed saying, “I would love to have our photo taken. I want to be in your book that changes the world. That I can wait for.” On Day 3, I avoided the subject and I said things like, “I don’t mind lifting your hind legs so you can walk around. We can do this for years. I don’t care if you poop in the house. I am just glad you are pooping. Maybe we will try the heavy muscle building pharmaceuticals. Maybe that will help.” Day 4. Stormy (my Aussie), Maia and I meet Grace, the pet photographer, at Griffith Park. A coyote scavenges for food in our general vicinity. Maia and Stormy walk side by side. Maia smiles and looks in the camera. She tells Grace, “I can tell you capture everyone’s soul. Thank you.” Grace says she hopes Maia lives longer. I say she probably will. On the car ride home I hear, “Mom, I got my picture taken, now I am ready to go”. I cry. That night I take her to my friend Caroline’s so Maia can eat horse poop. At home Maia says, “That was a perfect last day.” Then she asks if her doctor can be the one that euthanizes her. At 4:15pm the next day, I drive her to Carpinteria to a park by the beach. Our appointment is at 5:10. “I have been to this park before” she says and refuses to get out of the car. “This is perfect here,” She says about the blue comforter I laid across the dog beds in the back of Jeep. “I am just going to tell the doctor, ‘I am not moving. This is where you have to do it and tell him thank you for being my medicine man.” Storm and Maia ate cat food and my friend Jim brought them a hamburger. At 5:30 Dr. Otto gives Maia the sedative with Stormy lying beside her and her head cupped in my hands. As Maia falls asleep, for 15 minutes I send her telepathic affirmations about how perfect she is, how brave and conscious, and how she has overcome so many obstacles. I tell her I owe all of what I know to her. I tell her I love her. I tell her to drift out of her body and that we are connected by a golden ribbon. To my surprise I can still hear her. She tells me of dog friends she is seeing. She tells me she loves me. She tells she is scared. She tells me of the golden ribbon and how she is no longer frightened. Right before her soul leaves her body she says she sees my grandmother holding a gigantic beef bone. She says my grandmother is telling her that her teeth will not hurt her when she eats it. Storm and I feel her beautiful strong soul lift and engulf us accompanied by a gentle breeze. We are sad. We take her body home so her three cats and bunny (Joey, Makia, Serafina, & Bean) can see her body then we wrap Maia in a white sheet and bury her at Caroline’s pet cemetery. There Maia once said, “Here it feels like heaven.”
Remarkably, I can still hear her now. She is very distant. She says she can watch us but she is not yet allowed to come closer. She says it is amazing that I can hear her. She says of the others that she is with that their loved ones on earth cannot hear them. Maia says she is learning. When I feel bad for times I got frustrated with her or feeling like I could have done more I hear her faintly say, “None of that matters. You were perfect.” She tells me, “I will always look out for you.” She tells me she is reviewing parts of her life. She looks at the abuse, the wolf in her vs. the dog, how she has known love, and how she feels “smart” in heaven because she had a human that could talk to her and could hear her thoughts. She says she is learning quickly and is moving up dimensions. She assures that in a few days she will feel closer. Here on earth, my animal family and I are so grateful that we can still hear her, but the empty space in the house brings us often to deep sadness. Maia in her physical form will be missed greatly. I am so honored to have been her caretaker. Maia, we miss you and love you.
oh Laura,
thank you so much for publicly sharing this entry. i will hold you in my thoughts & i wish you so much peace and comfort.
so beautiful that Maia feels smart and is able to learn so quickly.
you are gifted human.
Tiny Dancer’s mom, Carmen
Absolutely beautiful Laura. Thank you for sharing. Julie and I are very sorry for your loss. We hope to see you soon.
Love,
Lisa & Julie
Bailey, Oliver, and Lillie’s mom(s)
I am so touched by your sharing. Times like these are so hard. You know that it is time for them to go but you want them with you just a little longer. You have had her for many years and lots of good times and lots of love shared between you. As the saying goes when one door closes another one opens up. She was lucky to have you and you were lucky to have her.
Laura,
As I read your story about Maia, I am reminded of the pain that Jackson was in and why I brought him to ‘talk’ to you. It’s been almost 2 years since he crossed over Rainbow Bridge and we still miss him immensely.
Your pets are soooo lucky to have you as their ‘mom.’ You have the ability to talk to them, which most of us don’t have the ability to do. You listened to Maia and make her last day perfect! I feel we were able to do the same with Jackson because of YOU. I am forever grateful for having brought him to you 🙂
I hope you find peace in the days and months ahead and that you and Maia will continue to be able to communicate.
You are a wonderful person and I admire your ‘skills’ 🙂
I hope to be able to see you soon with two more dogs of mine that I could use some insight to!!
God Bless You Laura and all of the owners and animals that you have helped.
Laura you did a great job with Maia. She was as lucky to have you as you were to have her. Thanks for publishing the account of her last days. Very touching (I can’t see the keyboard). You did your duty and helped her move on in comfort and with dignity.
Namaste’
Will Thomas
Thank you for sharing. I just lost my best friend and this was very comforting to me.
That was so incredibly beautiful. Bawling here. What a wonderful, loving tribute to your wonderful Maia. May you always hear her.
thank you Laura – that was beautiful.
RIP my beloved Snickers I miss you. Thank you for sharing. I have hope.
That was a wonderful story Laura. I know how sad it is to send them to heaven. It is a deep, penetrating sadness. But I also know how amazing it feels when they tell us how happy they are in heaven and how much they learn, and are able to do there. That brings me peace and happiness. That does not remove the pain, but it makes the pain have a happy follow up. It is a never ending cycle. Pain and happiness. But in the end, they are very happy in heaven. Love you.
This is so beautiful, brought tears to my eyes, but thanks so much for sharing.
Blessings to you and your beautiful creatures.
This was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing. I lost two of them 4 years ago and I still miss them terribly. I am learning to communicate with animals and I look forward to the time when I am able to talk with them.
Mia, you are beautiful. RIP sweet girl!
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Laura – I am deeply moved and feel a part of the journey with you. My heart is full of sadness and joy for all that you shared, and continue to experience together. Judy
I am saddened and also very comforted reading this blog post. Just having been to the Wolf Sanctuary near here & observing Atka, the ambassador wolf, I am reminded of what a wild and magnificent “dog” Maia was and I so appreciate al I learned from your writings about her. I am sorry for your loss. I will never forget her either.
I am sorry that Maia has moved on to a different place, but I am happy for both of you for the love you shared and will always share.
Blessings on you, Laura,
Deanna & Co
Dear Laura, deep condolences on your loss. I found the newsletter I just received about Maia, and this, so beautiful to read. I was holding my little Baby Ruth and started to cry a little. I have heard good things from several people in the area I’ve met by chance who have seen you. I wanted to come see you about my cat Ambrosia, but she passed away before I did. I want to come see you with Baby Ruth. I look forward to your newsletters. (((hug)))
BLESSINGS
My heart and tears go out to you for I know the heartache of losing one that you have bonded so closely with. In the past two years I have lost six dogs. Each dog had their own personality and truly touched my life in different ways. I do understand that the things that were the hardest were also the moments that you felt the greatest bonding. Truly, Truly I believe your doggie loves you because you never gave up, you just kept loving in spite of…..That really is what love is all about and you reach down and showed it. What a blessing to have had Maia in your life. I don,t think things happen by accident, so it was a blessing for both of you—an ordinary person probably would have given up. You and Maia were quite a pair. The emptiness is the hardess. With love a reader and friend, Melinda
Thank you so much for sharing so generously and transparently about Maia’s passing. I just read your blog and it brought thoughts of Buster to mind and I shed yet another tear for him.
Thank you so much for doing the work you do.
Much love
Trine
LAURA,
MY DEEPEST SYMPATHIES FOR YOUR LOSS. I TRULY CAN RELATE TO YOUR CONNECTION WITH MAIA. I FEEL THE SAME WITH GEORGE. MAY EACH DAY GET A LITTLE EASIER KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE SHARED A SPECIAL LOVE THAT ONLY THE TWO OF YOU HAVE KNOWN. GOD BLESS! MARCIA
Dear laura, Our hearts go out to you and your family.Her life story is so beautiful. She truly was sent to you and as you said she changed both your lives. We know how much you miss her and love her. She is at peace and watching over you all. Sincerely Susan,Carson and Lily from NJ
Thankyou so much for Sharing. I was in tears the whole time I was reading. As you remember Laura, we lost our 98% hybrid white wolf named Spirit a few months ago. You helped us so much to get over our loss. And It was amazing the words that he spoke to you. Knowing that our wolf spirit was a native american indian that decided to come in a wolfs body this time to bridge the gap between humans and wolfs. He also told you he chose us because we had many American Indian Life times together and he trusted us to care for him. He also told you his job was to help save the wolves out west and also the bears in alaska when he passed on. The presense of our wolves will be missed, I am just gratefull for the time we had and he will always be remembered in our hearts. Thankyou again
I’ve recently started a blog, the information you provide on this site has helped me tremendously. Thank you for all of your time & work.
Dear Laura,
I felt honored when giving care to Maia. The deep honoring a wolf has is so big. I know her work on the earth plane was big, and you honored her in such a beautiful and honoring way. Her words of trust, respect and patience weren’t just words for me. I know you and Maia will always be talking. What a blessing to feel that with a dearly loved one.
Dear Laura:
So sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose a member of your family. You must get comfort from your ability to be able to communicate with Maia.
I just wanted to tell you that I wish I had read about your experience with Eddie’s Wheels before I bought a cart.
Hi Ruth, thank you for your kind words. I do get much comfort in being able to speak with her and I feel she is back with me in another body too! Though a few weeks ago I reread that post and I was brought to tears. It was such a hard time and they were so insensitive. I hope that you and your pup have a different experience and have great success with the cart. Sending you many blessings.