During the time that Maia, my wolf dog, started her transition to wanting to die my 15-year-old cat, Joey Joe, was having kitty seizures. These look like episodes of drunkenness. He would stagger, lose his balance, become ravenous and then fall asleep. These seizures even caused his retinas to detach. Joey has been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. A now common cat disease thought of to be caused by BPA, a sealant used in canned food. The symptoms of hyperthyroidism can be similar to Diabetes, heart disease, and liver disease. This explains why I was having recurring dreams of making a mistake and giving Joey insulin shots instead of his diabetic sister (Makia). Common symptoms are cats throwing up often, yowling mostly at night, irrational fears, becoming hyper and then lethargic, weight loss, and a rapid heartbeat or a heart murmur.
As soon as I put Joey on the pharmaceutical his seizures stopped but he started to walk around like a zombie. Because I can talk to Joey I felt confident playing around with his dosage. I lowered it. Joey got thin. Then I split the original dosage to be given twelve hours apart. Joey instantly gained weight and seemed better to the naked eye. I was happy, but Joey continued to talk about wanting to go to Maia. Our conversations would go like this. Joey would say, “I want to go to heaven too. I have lots of friends there.”
I would reply, “Joey, I can’t deal with another death. You are going to get better.”
“Mom, this stuff makes me feel terrible. I hate it. I don’t want to be on this medicine.”
“Joey you look so much better.”
“I hate it.”
A trip to our vet proved that two dosages a day is the best protocol. Joey’s T4 levels are back to normal but a slight heart problem and issue with his liver developed. I had heard of a holistic supplement that may work but it doesn’t work with pharmaceuticals.
“Let’s start that today.” Joey said. So I took him off the pharmaceutical. It retrospect I should of weaned him off and then put him on the Supplement. “I feel so much better.” Joey says after one dose of the supplement. Then two days in a row he throws up and one night he yowls. I am paranoid he is going backwards.
I ask with a scrutinizing eye, “Are you ok? I think I saw you swagger and you’re eating a lot.”
“I am a little dizzy but I feel great.” He replies.
“Joey, I think I should put you back on the pharmaceutical.”
“I would rather die on this supplement than be alive on that medicine.” He argues. “Mom, just give it time.” I obsessively weigh him – holding him why I step on the scale. “It doesn’t matter mom, I am never going back on that stuff.”
This is one of those times I wish I couldn’t hear him. He would be on the pharmaceutical and I would think everything was great. “What do I do?” I am constantly questioning myself and asking my friends for advice. “Do what you cat wants.” They all reply. The other animals in the house say, “Joey looked murky on the pharmaceuticals. He looks better now.” I have to agree.
Last night Joey did not yowl or eat obsessively. I ask, “How do you feel this morning, Joey?” Joey rolls his eyes at me. He replies, “I am tired and I get dizzy sometimes, but I wonder if that is what happens when your body starts to die. I don’t understand why people want me to fight death by taking drugs that make me sick. Why not support my body with supplements that calm my nerves and give me a sense of peace. I am enjoying my life now. I am not hiding in the dark or feeling sick at every moment. I feel good. I may live more years or I may die tomorrow. I know you are sad because of Maia, but the good thing is I have family in heaven too. I am not scared to die.”
Brigga and Doon. Sister and brother long haired cats, came to me at a very young age when ny daughter left the country and needed a home for them…Who else but Mom…very reluctantly said “well if you can’t find anyone else I will take them.” From the very beginning, Doon, the male, was lazy and wouldn’t groom himself. The only reason my daughter took him was that she felt sorry for him and watched how Brigga took care of him. Brigga,Brigga, I always said her name twice, kept herself clean and beautiful and often she would groom Doon. Doon loved laps and thought the reason I sat down was to provide one. We had a dog too who never liked them being there. She thought her duty was to keep them chased away. No matter how we talked to her. In a dream Molly the dog showed me a house divided. One side was her and the other one Doon. I saw several puppies on the outside and they couldn’t come in because of Doon…Molly talked to me and said she wanted puppies but was afraid Doon would kill them. Hmmm, So this little trio conflict was going on all the time. Time went on. Brigga loved the outdoors and a couple of times mistook the neighbors house for mine and was gone two or three days at a time…no doubt because of Molly, while Doon rarely wandered..very definately dominated the house and would not budge when Molly tried to chase him. Well to make a long story short, they both lived to be 12 years old I believe.
The strange thing is: Doon went first. He choose a comfortable spot under a tree and was just going to lie there and die I felt, but I picked him up and made him comfortable in the chair he loved. It was short and fast. Brigga became my closest friend. She would hop on my bed and come up and stick her nose to mine as if to see if I was breathing. As soon as she knew I was alive she would go to the foot of the bed and lie down and groom herself. After Doon had been gone a couple of months or so, one night Brigga came up to me as I was watching a movie on TV…She did her usual thing, sticking her face really close to min and I turned and said “Hello” I’m ok, thank you for checking and went back to my movie.She went to my knee bend where she always loved to lie…I have to say here that I dream a lot and in dreams I would see Doon come to her and lead her away…In one dream he had the bend of his body like he was lying in the chair. It looked strange as he walked with this bent body…a couple of dreams like that made me wonder, “Is he trying to persuage her to leave too” but I can’t seem to interept dreams so I just kinda brushed it off. So anyway, getting back to Brigga…All seemed normal as she began grooming herself. Then she stopped quickly and looked up like she would look at a person…and then leaped straight up over me at some invisable thing and suddenly began a spin which landed her on the floor beside the bed. No doubt a stroke. I kept stroking her saying Brigga don’t die…but it was quick and almost sudden…Sometimes now when I am in that room watching TV I feel something jump on my bed and I am certain its Brigga. Shortly afterwards I read an article about how cats know if you have heart problems and will sit on your chest…I think about her now since I did have a heart attack in March of this year…the doctor said it wasn’t my first one…unknown to me. no pain and that it was an old one…Brigga & Doon left us in 2007 and so did my oldist daughter. This caused me much grief..I believe all the grievng didn’t help my heart. I just feel so blind and ignorant sometimes when I realize how smart our pets are and how much they try to tell us . A little grieving is good but we have to we have to go on with our life and stay strong. Molly is now 11, and despite allergies, is doing well and still pretty fiesty. Thanks for reading..
What a wise kitty joey is!