Joey Joey is my oldest.  I have had him since before I was a professional pet psychic.  He is now 17 years old.  In the past few months Makia (his younger kitty sister) got diagnosed with Diabetes, Maia (his younger wolf hybrid sister) has almost no movement of her back legs and just when I felt I had surrendered to having aging animals Joey gets… Seizures?

Last night, I was at my walk in hours when my pet sitter / friend called to tell me that Joey was walking around the yard like a drunk, smashing into things, scared and confused.  I rushed home to a wobbling cat who said, “mom, I am scared I am going to die.  I see bright flashes of light, I feel nauseous and dizzy.” I called the chiropractor immediately.  Joey’s symptoms subside.  Dr. Silly, the chiropractor, arrives on the scene at 10pm.  Joey’s atlas was out.

A few hours later I awake to the Joey smashing into things.   I lie on the couch with him as Maia drags herself into find me. “Come back to bed” She says.

The next morning, my friend says to me “These animals really test your faith don’t they?”

I breathe, cancel my day, and make an appointment with the vet.  Then I rush Joey to see Dr. Silly again.

At the best Vet in the world’s office (Dr. Otto) we go through reasons why this could be happening, inner eye – NO, stroke – NO, high blood pressure – NO, thyroid – maybe, lesions on the brain / seizures – Maybe.  I am exhausted. It doesn’t feel like seizures.  Dogs talk about a static feeling.  He doesn’t feel that. I talk myself out of that being a possibility. The vet tech, named Star, tells me that when she was taking Joeys blood and pressure she was surrounding Joey in love.  She said she will imagine him well.  Isn’t that beautiful?

On the car ride home Joey snuggles between Maia and Stormy.  Maia holds her breathe because her back is in so much pain and she doesn’t have the strength to stand up and change positions.  She will have to wait for me to help her.  At home Joey eats ravenous and hides in the dark.  “mom, am I going to die?” I have heard this statement too many times from Joey, Maia, and Makia lately.  “Eventually I respond.”  “Mom, I don’t want die” He says.  “Why are you eating so much?” I ask.  “Because Makia told me when I get dizzy to eat and it will help.” “That is if you are a diabetic.  You’re not a diabetic.  You have something else. ” “Oh” he says and continues eating.

Meanwhile, in the other room, Maia refuses to eat.  She has dropped 20lbs in a two months.  Storm (my Aussie), in-between being concerned with Maia and Joey, surfs the house like a bottom ocean feeder eating the food that is left behind.  Serafina my well kitty glares at us with her big green eyes and follows me from room to room racing in front of me after I pass through each doorway.  Bean, the bunny, rattles her cage to be let out in the back yard, and Makia meows wanting to be brushed but knowing this afternoon it probably wont happen.

All my animals chatter.

Makia (younger kitty):  “I feel bad I hissed at Joey yesterday.”

Serafina (my youngest kitty): “I am worried about Joey. Why is he acting weird?”

Maia (my wolf dog):  “Mom can you stop moving so I can sleep.”

Storm (my aussie):  “Mom, this is really sad what is happening to everyone.  Can I go with you on a special walk?”

Bean (bunny):  “Mom, I know that if I ever get sick you would take good care of me.”

I lift Maia up to help her outside and acknowledge that this is one of those times I wish I had a husband.  I breathe and think about all the people who have sick children.  It is sad to see the innocent suffer.  Especially the ones that are so dear.  Animals age.  I was in my early 20’s when these animals became apart of my family.  I didn’t think of them getting old and watching them deteriorate on a daily basis.

“The dog walker is nervous about walking your dogs.  She doesn’t want to see Maia fall.” My friend said.

I snapped at her, “This is part of aging.  She falls, you lift her up.  It sucks but she wants to go.  She is only going to get worst.  Everyone has to get used to it.  Please I need help.  If she wants to help me she is going to have to witness it.”

My friend looked shocked and didn’t say anything.  I felt and thought about crying, but had too much to do.

This is where something enlightening is suppose to emerge.  This is where I am suppose to see the positive.  I am still working on it.  Allowing it to sink in and process.  For the meanwhile…

My animals, all animals, age with such grace.  The stumble, they fall, they seizure, and yet they do their best at picking them selves up and enjoying the moment.  They suffer mostly alone.  It takes them a long time to tell even me, the pet psychic, that something is not right and when they finally do they they are grateful to have someone be a witness to their suffering.  They feel even more blessed to have someone by their side steadying them and making sure what they need is near.

Right now, I feel like I need to be able to witness suffering  and still be excited about my work. I am blessed to be able to hear the animals.  I don’t know how people who can not hear them manage.  Many call me.  But what about the people and pets that don’t have me, Dr. Silly and Dr. Otto (or someone like us).  It’s a lot guessing.  Its a lot of tests, its a lot of money, and it is a lot more stress.  Thank you, to who ever gifted me with being able to hear their voices.

Please surround Maia and Joey in love.

On another note, I have a baby human niece coming tomorrow!  Surround my little sister, Zoe, in light as she gives birth to #3!.